2024 in Review

I started this year’s annual reflection about a month ago. It was a normal, quiet November evening. Little did I realize how much would change between then and now. My beloved Harry crossed the rainbow bridge on December 6, 2024. The grief I have felt over the past month has been nearly insurmountable. It’s hard to embrace joy right now. This is going to be a shorter post than usual and I’m going to dedicate the conclusion as an ode to Harry, the story of his end of life, and all that he meant to me. For now, to kick things off, I will focus on the highlights of this past year.

I traveled to Chile and Argentina. A great, quick trip, my stops included Valparaiso, Mendoza, and Santiago. I enjoyed the beauty of Mount Aconcagua (highest mountain the Americas), the eclectic street art of Valpo, and the flavors of Santiago. I got sunburned in Vina del Mar and read the entirety of The Nightingale.

My first Coachella. Vas and I finagled last minute wristbands at a low price and went on Sunday, which meant only one night of lodging and minimal traffic. I loved the full experience and found our fellow attendees to be pleasant and not as over the top as I’d imagined. Very different vibe from the jam band festivals of my past. The weather was perfect, we didn’t spend too much money at all, and saw some great live music.

Time with Rosanne in Sayulita. I met the bestie in Mexico for a few days. Sayulita is really popular among Angelenos, so I was curious to see for myself. Safe to say neither of us really loved it but that’s probably in part due to my food poisoning (very unfortunate this has happened to me 3 times in 3 years). We still managed to take a yoga class on the beach, lounge poolside, and go whale-watching – only saw a tail from the distance. But still, a whale tail!

My dad’s inaugural LA visit. I think this was our first ever “holiday” one-on-one together and we had a really nice time. I showed him a lot of the classic “welcome to LA” spots – Manhattan Beach, Griffith Park, Jewish and Korean foods, Laguna Beach, Angel’s baseball game, a comedy club, my downtown chai/food/museum circuit, scenic Hwy 2, the Getty Villa, and Malibu. I hope he comes back again!

Dead and Co at the Sphere, Vegas. I met my friend Kelly for a night in Vegas and we loved the show. The venue is a technological work of art. No exaggeration when I say this was probably the best concert experience I’ve had. Beyond that, we played casino games, drank champagne, and hung out at the Flamingo. I got stuck in Vegas for a 2nd night because it was 115 degrees out and my plane’s computer overheated. Besides the flight snafu, it was a solid weekend.

A proper Eurotrip. I flew with my (then healthy) fur child to NC, so my parents could keep watch while I rendezvoused in Europe. The trip was fabulous. I spent a day in Frankfurt, Germany where I joined a city walking tour. I then went to Croatia where Rosanne met up! We boated through Split and Hvar Island, road-tripped to a Dutch techno festival in Tisno, and night-toured Dubrovnik. After that I was back on my own and spent an evening roaming Belgrade, Serbia, followed by a few days in Budapest. Budapest was incredible. I really appreciated the depth of Jewish history there, the architecture, thermal baths, and unexpectedly, the food! I will further detail this trip in an eventual blog post.

Miscellaneous: I got to spend a full day with my Uncle Gary, showing him sites from Point Dume to the beachy dives. I took 2 dance class (really managed to screw up my back – took a few months to completely heal). I did a ton of local hikes. I made my way to see Victoria’s kiddos and new house near San Diego. A lot of wellness activities including cold plunging and cryotherapy for the first time. I went to a few concerts. Camped in Malibu. Visited Idyllwild. I went to Santa Barbara twice. I traveled to Denver for my annual conference and saw Maggie Rogers at Red Rocks with the work dad squad. Had a fun birthday dinner and night out with some girl friends. Joined an experimental “stranger dinner” in the hopes of making new connections; no such luck, but at least I tried. I hung out with my friend Katie while her family visited LA. I experienced my first significant earthquake and did not like it at all. I flew to NC for a few days and did my best to get together with as many people as possible (friends, family, and colleagues), always challenging on limited time and without a car. I landed a cameo in my friend Mario’s film, playing a news anchor. We’ll see how that turns out! I went line dancing. A few other things here and there, end of this year is a blur.

Death Valley National Park. I didn’t have Thanksgiving plans so decided to check out a new park. I explored the Alabama Hills (where Mt. Whitney is located) and drove through a ton of DV, stopping at the Badwater Basin, Artists Palette, sand dunes, and Zabriskie Point. Such incredible land and very accessible park for people of varying abilities. Best of all, Harry was in tow (he rested at my pet-friendly cabin while I was away for a few hours both days). As always, he was a fabulous and easy road trip companion.

Separate visits from my mom and brother. Mom and Jesse came to visit in the month of December, when I really needed company more than ever. These visits were not my finest hours of hosting but I still tried to show them a good time and get out into some nature, which is always healing. While my brother’s trip was already planned, my mom’s wasn’t. As soon as Harry fell ill and I knew his time was nearing, my mom booked a flight with no hesitation. I’m so thankful for her love.

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Harry, my angel. On Harry’s 16th birthday (May 20), I marveled at how well he was doing. His health really seemed to be in check and he was lively as ever, despite a year and half of biweekly fluid treatments for his kidney disease. It wasn’t until late October that I grew concerned because he was having trouble holding his head up. A heart xray was recommended and it came back normal, suggesting that since it wasn’t his heart, it was likely a worsening of his kidneys. He lost weight over the coming weeks, had low appetite and was lethargic. I started feeding him “fun” food more, and straying from his typical prescription diet. A dear friend sent a box of churu squeeze treats when she learned he wasn’t feeling well, and he LOVED them. I told my mom in early November that my motherly instinct was that he wouldn’t make it through end of year. I hate that I was right.

I planned the Thanksgiving road trip specifically for my buddy and I. I told friends that it was likely our last adventure together. Despite my awareness of his decline, I was not prepared for the collapse that happened while he was gobbling up his breakfast the day after we returned. I took him to the emergency vet where they confirmed total kidney failure. That Monday started a month of agony. Over the next few days, I was sick to my stomach. The anticipation grief was severe. I couldn’t work or eat and wouldn’t leave his side. I just didn’t know what to do. I was so fearful of him collapsing again, of him dying painfully if I were to wait it out. I scheduled his final appointment for Monday (one week post-collapse), my mom’s flight scheduled to arrive Sunday. She couldn’t get here sooner. As I awaited her arrival and support, I realized that he couldn’t hold on through the weekend. At least I don’t think he could. I’ll never know if my timing and decisions were correct, but I tried my best to unselfishly do right by him.

My sweet friend Camille drove us to the last appointment on Friday, December 6th and she cried with me the whole time. Harry seemed at peace from the moment we got to Mohawk, his trusted vet tech Vannessa also by our side. It was an incredibly sad hour but I’m thankful that I was with him, caressing his head and assuring him that I would be ok, that he would be ok, that he was so loved.

To me, losing Harry has felt like the death of a child. I never had a baby but I raised Harry for 16 1/2 years. He meant everything to me. I have struggled tremendously since his passing. He was such a special character, the kind of cat who would convert non-cat people into kitty lovers. Loyal, funny, adventurous, a friend to animals and humans alike. He slept with me every night and greeted me every time I came home. We took endless adventures together, moved around the country, hiked, road-tripped, socialized. I wrote an obituary that includes some of my favorite quirks of his; if you’re my friend, you’ve probably read it.

I’ve done what I can to heal over the past month. I found my appetite again and have returned to yoga. I’m not strong or motivated at the moment, but I’m trying. I did a hike/sound bath/chakra cleanse with a healer, an experience through which I felt a bit of a spiritual connection to my boy. I have seen a grief therapist a few times and have been reading a helpful book. I worked through the holidays, a decent distraction during the day. I’ve started volunteering at a cat rescue. I planned my next international vacation.

Friends have shown support in the best of ways. I’ve received flower arrangements and have cried over the caring sentiments on my social media posts. Others have sent keepsake jewelry, custom art, or have made donations in Harry’s name. People have texted and called to check on me, to have heartfelt conversations and lighthearted ones, too. I’ve contemplated how grief comes in all shapes and sizes. Some people don’t know what to say or what you need. No one except you knows the unique relationship and closeness you had with your pet. I now understand why some people get new animals immediately and some choose to wait years.

I’m extremely blessed to have had Harry as my companion, my shadow, my sidekick for the entirety of my adulthood. Now I get to honor and remember him for the rest of my life. My goals for 2025 are acceptance of this loss, expanded friendships in my city, love, and growth in career. Sending a huge thanks and so much gratitude toward everyone I spent time with this year, and especially those who have cared for me when I needed it more than ever.